Memories
by sexy-superman
Summary: Chapter 3 is up! Syusuke is talking about his tittle beign a sadist.
1. My Family

A/n: Nothing interesting...thanks for your reviews from Love...especially Rikkua42...don't own anything...on with the story...  
  
It came again...that dream...  
  
I've been having...these strange dreams lately...real strange...they make me feel lost...unloved...I don't want to have those dreams anymore...but I have to put up with it...I know I have to...  
  
At home nobody listens to my opinions and feelings...but when they do...I just can't say anything...I just open my mouth and nothing comes out...  
  
My sister is busy at work...day and night...I don't get to see her that often...even though she sometimes picks me up after school, she has to do some home chores and carry on with her company business...I miss the days when our family spend the weekends at parks and had picnics there...the days when we did all kinds of things that normal family do...I miss them...  
  
As for my brother...he wont talk to me...at all...he doesn't even live under the same roof as our family or broken up family...his hatred against me is so strong that he even hates the sight of me...but still I love him...very much...since when we were small...I haven't been the aniki that I wanted to be...every time I see Yuuta I try to make him happy or relax...but he always hang around with that Mizuki...how could he, Mizuki...hurt my dear little brother...to nearly force him to stop playing tennis forever...  
  
My parents got divorced...when I was five...I still remember why...I still remember my mothers tear streaked face...she running out of the front door slamming it behind her...my father telling her, when she found them on the living room couch, that he will explain...but it was too late...by his expression he already seem to know that...then my mother ran out of the front door...after that I heard my fathers girlfriend say:  
  
"You know you don't need her...you have me...I love you Yutaro."  
  
"I love you too Sakura."  
  
"Shall we carry on?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
Then he kissed her causing her to moan.  
  
"Honey the door is still open...you better close it."  
  
"Ok... I'll be back in a second."  
  
When my father walked over to the door...he saw me standing by the door...tears rolling down my cheeks...whispering...  
  
"Mommy...daddy how could you?" 


	2. My family Part two

A/n: Thanks for the reviews!! Arrigatto!!!! You will start probably wondering why does Fuji-kun know so much about...you know the relationship stuff, well wasn't he born to be a tensai? (This question will pop up probably when you've read this chap.).  
  
"Mommy...daddy how could you?"  
  
At that time my sister was still at school and Yuuta was upstairs in his room planning to make something for the mother's day which was the day after that day...  
  
"Syusuke...I need to talk to you later."  
  
"No...I want to know NOW!" I screamed so loud at the last words, that Yuuta opened the door of his room and ran down the stairs to check on me. At that time Yuuta still treated me as his nice aniki...  
  
"Are you alright aniki?"  
  
"H...hhhhai..."  
  
"What were you talking about...with daddy?"  
  
"No...nothing...just go back to your room. Yuuta."  
  
"Haiii aniki!"  
  
Yuuta went back upstairs, but kept giving me those please-tell-me-later-in- my-room look while climbing up the stairs.  
  
"Why are you doing this to mommy?"  
  
"Syusuke...you wont understand....you are too young to know about the world of the adults..."  
  
"Yadda! I want know...did mommy do to deserve this?"  
  
"..."  
  
My father was speechless. He looked eager to go back to the living room and get on with the business that he was doing with his girlfriend. But even more he looked hurt.  
  
I started to feel relaxed watching my father getting mentally suffered, to think up something to say or to answer my question.  
  
"N...No...nnnno..."  
  
"Yes...what did you say again?"  
  
My father went back silent again. He seemed to lose his tongue. He didn't say anything to me anymore but walked back to the living room and locked the door behind him.  
  
Ever since that day, I've enjoyed seeing people suffer mentally not physically of course. That's why now days my friends call me as a sadist.  
  
A/n: Sorry if this was bad...I had trouble writing it cause I was writing it on the laptop in my dads car when the car was driving on bumpy rock road...so u can imagine how it feels. Please review!!! 


	3. Beign A Sadist

A/n: The first two chapters are going down the hill...seems that I have only two reviewers...I will update more chapters. Anyway thanks for the reviews.  
  
Being a sadist isn't normal...in fact you feel kind of unique...  
  
As I told you earlier about the divorce...it was hard for me.  
  
Now days when my brother and I are in Junior High, we don't see our father anymore. When we were still in elementary school, our parents used to have this kind of agreement that we (by we I mean my sister and my brother and myself) will go to our father's house for one week and the other week to our mother's home. I feel that we are not a family anymore that...that our family is just like one of those soap opera families that get divorced and things like that.  
  
I felt like an suitcase kid...traveling from one family to another...for my father moved out after one week from that incident...he went to live with his girlfriend...now they are married and have children...  
  
When I go to my fathers house...I feel left out...probably Yuuta thinks so too, because after one of those trips to father's house...he asked me...  
  
"Aniki...why did everything become like this...why..."  
  
I kept silent...I was afraid to speak about it... that I might give away and let my feelings pour out...  
  
Sometimes I wish...that I have those wings that...I've seen those tenshi's have...tenshi is my word for angles...the tenshi's mean a lot to me...I look up to them even though I cannot see them or feel them...  
  
I have made goals to myself...goals that I will achieve before I graduate...goals that I live for...also rules...rules that I will always follow...the true meaning of my life...the qualities for my life...I follow these rules...  
  
My first one was:  
  
I try to remember:  
  
Everybody doesn't have to love me  
  
Not everybody has to love me or even like me. I don't necessarily like everybody I know, so why should everybody else like me? I enjoy being liked and being loved, but if somebody doesn't like me. I will still be okay and still feel like I am an okay person. I cannot make somebody like me, any more than someone can get me to like them. I don't need approval all the time. I f someone does not approve of me, I will still be okay. A/n: This saying is from chicken soup for the teenage soul. I made this rule because of my father...my father never loved us anymore...when he left us into the shadows of his life... 


End file.
